A Reflection on all of this.

I’m really astounded at the amount of people reading and commenting on my blog. I did not think that many people would take the time to seek out my postings and actually read them, but I’ve obviously been proven wrong. It makes me feel good that people care about my work and ministry in Toronto and are genuinely interested. I’m very, very appreciative to each person who has me on their hearts and minds as I work with CSM this summer. I know that it was – and still is – such a big step to take to work as a missionary in another country, and I’m so thankful that I have so many people, both family and friends, who are behind me and support me.

But, it also makes me sad. Sad for those I’ve been called to serve. Sad for those who don’t know the love and support that surrounds my life constantly. Sad for those who don’t have a family devoted to them. Sad for those who aren’t fortunate enough to have a job. Sad for those who don’t have friends, or have friends that aren’t true and real.

It strikes me in a very hard way that those I minister to on the streets have lives completely opposite of mine. I have everything I need, they have next to nothing. How am I supposed to relate to them, to minister to them, to help them, to get down on their level, and to understand them? One of my favorite spiritual writers – Henri Nouwen – has said that in Christ we are all one and that the achievements and failures of humanity can be found in every person. When someone laughs, I can laugh. When someone cries, I can cry. But, can I really understand the pain and hurt that someone living homeless experiences on a daily and hourly basis? Can I ever truly understand what it is like to not have a family, to not have stability, to not have love? I don’t really know how to answer my own question.

I often wonder why a loving and gracious God would allow people to experience life unloved. Why would God allow people to be so capitalistic, so individualistic, and so materialistic as to put another fellow person into poverty so empty that they lose everything – money, housing, health, family, friends, etc? Why does God allow God’s creation to go astray like this? I also do not know how to answer this question. And, I think that I may never be able to answer this question. But, I’m slowly accepting that fact and appreciating the beauty that is the mystery of God. I don’t and can’t have all the answers. But, I can and must be a part of the question. Why has God called me to this particular ministry? What can I do to alleviate the suffering and despair of my brother and sister living on Gerrard Street, George Street, College Street, or any other place in Toronto or beyond? What can I do to show the love and hope that God so freely offers through Christ? These are questions that I’m slowly starting to figure out. These are the questions that matter.

So after a rambling post, all I’m trying to say is – thank you. To each person who reads this blog and remembers me and supports me. And even if the only contact you have with homelessness or inner-city problems is through me through this site, you’ve helped alleviate the problem. Your prayers and support are so vital to my ministry, and without those I could never serve those who need me most.

Grace and Peace to You All.